Randomness

Off the top of my head....

• My feet are killing me. Running is stupid and I have blisters. But i'm not going to be a quitter.
• Sometimes I want to #hashtag everything. Emails and texts...post it notes. Yeah, it's a problem.  
• The song i'm listening to has an oboe in it. Something about the haunting sounds of the oboe speak parts of my heart and soul. 
• It's been an awkwardly rough yet cleansing day. 
• I miss my family. I want my mommy. 
• I've been praying to start dreaming again. God answers quick sometimes. 
• I've been contemplating on a few thoughts to write about via blog, etc. My creative writing juices are starting to flow again. (see above thought)
• I'm thinking it's time to start throwing my "love" parties on unsuspecting recipients. Those were amazing times. I love speaking the Father's heart during those surprise parties. 
• Sometimes....well, it doesn't matter. You don't need to know everything. 
• I love you. I like you. But more importantly, Jesus loves you. 

it's been...

a full day of hard work, fun, yummy desserts, stress, laughter, frustration, youth kiddos, zoo lights, coldness, lots more laughter, more my fingers are getting numb coldness, funny van rides, youth laughter, knitting, relaxing, more laughter, exhaustion.

it's late and i'm spent.

off to bed i go.

Off the top of my head...

•  My head is pounding this morning. Must be the change in weather that is looming*. Or maybe even the champagne before bed last night to celebrate a friend.
• I feel the need to bake something this weekend. But what?
• So far, Siri, hasn't been all that helpful to me? Disappointed. 
• I need to start running**. Running is stupid. But, yet, running is good for you. Plus I somehow committed myself to a half marathon in April. I'm screwed.
• Speaking of April, I can't wait for my photo shoot, styled by the amazing Jill Carter of Common Couture to commemorate my birthday. Check her out y'all!!
• I need the warmth of a beach next to an ocean.
• Would really like to take a nap right now. 

*Not feeling any type of excitement for snow quite yet!! 
**Okay, I have been running, but not with joy in my heart. So maybe I need to change my attitude.

why i shouldn't be sick for an extended period of time

Oh the perils of sickness. Why do you hover around me? Is it that you feel I should be irritable, unsociable, achy, groggy and drained for over a week and half now? I fought against you while in Colorado. I wouldn't let you keep me down while I was with those lovlies. But here you are in full force. Pushing back. Pushing stronger. And here I am being a pushover. Yet, I still have some fight in me. Even if you don't care that the next week and half is overwhelmingly busy. You pretend to be blind to the fact that I have much to do and no time to do it in. You have no concern for my feelings of health and vibrancy. Bastard, how very dare you!! You keep me up at night tossing and turning. You keep me drugged where my roommates think i'm hallucinating. You have been a pain in my arse for 12 days and nights now. You have me talking to you as if you are a person. And if you respond, I won't worry or become concerned that I'm hearing voices. I'll know its the cold and cough meds kicking in and working their healing wonders and I'll soon be drifting off into sleepy time land. In spite of your non-concern for me, I tell you this...I will prevail. I may sound like Liza Minelli or Kathleen Turner or like I've been smoking for a hundred years. My throat may burn and my ears may ache. BUT, the show must go on regardless of your callousness. I will prevail, damn it! I will prevail.

some favorites

i know i haven't blogged in a bit. Jon Acuff told me that if i wanted to keep my readers i needed to give you something every day. i'm learning folks, i'm learning. it's a process. still learning balance of my blog. 'Cause trust me, i got lots to say. blah, blah, blah. i do have some thoughts for you, but until i can put them down here for your eyes to feast upon, here are some of my favorites lately for you to enjoy as much as I have...

1. The body image of a Coke Bottle blog post by the amazingly talented Jill Carter of Common Couture.
2. Anything by Jon Acuff.
3. My girl crush, Zooey Deschanel. Oh, Zooey, I covet thy oxen. (i.e. all of her talent and utter coolness)
4. I've been enjoying Pinterest lately. It's a great place to organize and keep all things Y-O-U! My friend Misty is a Pinterest maniac. She has like 3o something boards and over 1600 pins. That's what I love about her. :)
5. Close your eyes and enjoy, Hope Glenn...

Random Finds

I've made it. Utah is my new home. It took a very boring, not because of the company but because of 1-80 the end of the world, drive. The point is I arrived. Safe, happy, anxious, excited, scared to pieces. Yet ready to face the new adventure.

I'm trying to get everything organized so I can feel more at home. The organization helps distract the homesickness I have been feeling since E & R drove away. Tonight while cleaning/purging/organizing my stash of odds and ends, I stumbled upon these fun little finds tucked away in the back of my jewelry thingamabob...

1. Photo of a very young Papa Rod. I miss him so much. And it only fuels the homesickness I'm feeling right at this moment.
2. An old Oklahoma drivers license. I look so young. Oh those were the days of no wrinkles and no gray hair.
3. Keys: 1 to a house in Stillwater, 1 to a post office box somewhere, 1 to I have no freakin' clue.
4. 6.39 in Euros
5. 10 pesos

It's funny how you stash things away and then forget them. Or maybe it's that you are not sure what to do with the stuff so you just put it somewhere only to forget about it and then years later decide to organize because its what helps you cope with the overwhelming homesickness you're feeling that honestly you've never experienced before and that homesickness makes you want to curl up in a corner and cry like a baby until you can't cry anymore. Yes, a very bad run on sentence. But that's what the homesickness has done to me.

Hmmm. It's really late. I never stay up this late.

I must continue organizing.

nothing

Mmm bop,

Ba duba dop, ba du bop

Ba duba dop, ba du bop

Ba duba dop

Ba du

See what I did there Jana?! A whole lot of nothingness. :)

bedtime ADD

really tired. but can not sleep...AT ALL!!!

the most random thoughts are floating around my head and, unfortunately, keeping me wide awake. i wish there was some sort of order to them, but my mind is in ADD mode right now. It looks a little like this:

....i don't want to go to work tomorrow...

...how many more days until i have a new niece?...

...sheesh, you need to go to sleep...

{insert quiet mind for maybe 3.2 seconds here, then the beat begins in my head}

...the scars of your love remind me of us, they keep me thinking that we almost had it all, the scars of your love, they leave me breathless, i can't help feeling we could have had it all...

...stop, go to sleep...

...i think i really want to write a book...

{insert rhythmic drum beat sounds floating around my head right about now}

...i wonder if there are any powwows coming up soon?...

...don't forget to write the pro's and con's for your future plans...

...Really, really?! Go to sleep...

...how do I become the main character in my story, rather than the quirky sidekick? more importantly, how do i make my story more meaningful?...

{insert frustrated sigh here}

...latte in the morning? yes, please! ooo, i'll get one for Janet too...

...okay, this is ridiculous, you need to sleep...

{silence for about 10 seconds}

...maybe i'll blog....

and so on, and so on!!!!!

funnily enough those really are only some of the thoughts, lyrics and sounds floating around in my head.

frustrating.

so here i am. awake. blogging. not sleeping. thinking. of complete utter ridiculousness. mixed in with a song that i can't seem to escape. add a dash of overwhelming thoughts--good, bad, happy, sad--about the joy ride i like to refer to as an emotional rollercoaster regarding the next season of my life. if i were to be completely honest, i would say that its more the "dash" that's keeping me awake, and avoiding, and in overdrive with bedtime ADD as i'm still not 100% how to process the next season yet.

???

and the randomness goes on...

1. I'm in love with Market Spice iced tea, right now, from Brewing Market.

2. I do not love Brewing Market in general, but there tea is yummy and their barista's are fun. (Yeah, I'm talkin' about you Sarah Norris)

3. Every day this week has seemed like an eternity. For real. It's only 1:45pm and I feel like I've been at work for 100 hours.

4. I'm blogging on my lunch break. So deal.

5. I haven't ran at all this week. Oopsies. I even have a new goal to run more often. But, it's cold in CO in the wee hours of the morning.

6. Speaking of wee hours of the morning, ever since I moved in with my besties, Wilma & Betty, I have been getting up at like 5:30am. Seriously? I mean, seriously!

7. I spent more time at Kaiser this week than I would have liked.

8. I'm dreaming of vacations and beaches and besties and fun.

9. I feel the need to bake. Something yummdiddidlyumpscious. Any suggestions?

10. I'm dreaming of a Utah Christmas.

11. I miss Jenn. I haven't seen her in ages. She lives just a few miles away. Where are you Jenn?

12. Jeg elsker deg.

Love Fern

I was getting a glass of water this evening and this is what I found....





I love my roommate. She makes me laugh.

And, tonight, I really needed to laugh.

**I also love the movie where she got the love fern quote!

Strawberry Basil Jam

I woke up this morning with a desire to make jam. Probably because I've been craving the strawberry basil jam I would have every morning when visiting the Seevinck's. It's just so yummy and sometimes, I just want it. And as of late, I've been wanting it. Now I have never made jam before, nor do I know how. But, I figure, why not? I'll either be fantastic or suck it up big time. But, I might as well try, right?

Right!

I'm not sure when this adventure will take place, but hopefully sometime in the next few weeks. I'm sure you'll know when I do. First things first, I should probably find a recipe and get the needed supplies. I'm sure that would be helpful.


Becca, any advice would be much appreciated.


Okay everyone, keep your fingers crossed and wish me luck!!

i'm addicted...

...and it's only been a wee 27 hours.

So, uh....I'm an iPhone user, finally!!

whoop, whoop.

Plus, I got a fancy Kate Spade case because Nick was positive I was going to drop it and break it within the 1st week if I didn't. Thanks Nick for the vote of confidence. I just waited a mere 3 hours to go to another store in order to get one that fit my personality. Sheesh!!

And I did, for now anyway.

Yeah....

that's all.

my personal *flair*

A friend and I had an impromptu conversation the other day when she was opening my refrigerator (or 'ice box and/or fridge' for you Midwesterners) and was looking at all my 'flair'--as she referred to it--upon the refrigerator door. She then preceded to tell me that my flair helped her learn more about me, merely by what was being displayed.

And yes, I would say, the flair on my 'fridge reveals about 33.7% of who I am and what I'm like; it can't all be mine especially since a few of the magnets reveal my roommate Tasia's personal flair. As you glance at it, those who know me well, know how much I love the Rio. Oh how those margaritas beckon me!! And lo and behold, in the bottom left corner you will find a Rio "marg" magnet reminding me that 3 is the limit. Then I have my favorite quotes to inspire me each day. I firmly believe we should all "dwell in possibility,"--and thank you Emily Dickinson for your friendly reminder. Of course, there are the places I've been and/or want to live; friends who are superstar acoustic playing ninjas; wedding reminders; as well as, the pics of those who are dear to my heart--& my roommate Tasia's of course--and the memories I will treasure for years to come.

(Obviously not all of you are on there; yet rest in the fact that I still absolutely adore you and more than likely you are hanging elsewhere in my home.)

I think the magnet that describes the me I desire to be most accurately was bought for me out of the blue by my supervisor at work. She said when she saw it, she immediately thought of me. And when someone tells you something like that before handing over the trinket they found that * best describes* you from their opinion they've formed of you, you smile and hope with all your might that its not something crass or tacky, and is close to who you believe you are. Then there's that fear that of "what if how I see myself doesn't line up with how other's see me?" ::insert biting knuckles here:: I know, I know. I'm psychotic at times but these are the things that run amuck in my head. But alas, I loved how she saw me and I feel it's an accurate description of me; or at least, the me I try to be.

And, YES, I am fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world. I wholeheartedly do. At least in my wildest, full of faith, livin' on love and in the goodness of the Lord dreams...I, my friends, can change the world for the better.

Ever since this conversation with my friend about my 'fridge flair, it made me start to notice the 'flair' we, or really I, have in other places of our lives. The way we dress, the foods we choose, the social activities we participate in, the issues we fight for, where we are passionate, to name a few. Basically, all the many ways in which we identify who we are. And it made me start to take a good look at myself to make sure I'm accurately presenting who I am and who I want to be. And trust me, I know that because my lack of patience, my grumpiness, my neurotic anxiety at times, my sensitivities and yes, even how high strung I am when life is falling apart all around me...my flair is not always what I want to give off as my personal representation. Nor is it pretty, loving or becoming. Which in turn made me ponder more about how I'm presenting myself daily, because the most important thing I want to have portrayed is that I'm loving and that I love ALL. I mean, I have love tattooed on my arm for goodness sake. My seal and mantra that is permanently placed upon my arm to remind me that above all I am to love. And though there are days that I fail miserably, I still make a point to make sure I am putting forth love above all else. Yes, even when its a challenge. And I may not have it all down right now, but that's okay. As long as I keep striving forward and reminding myself to love, passionately and unashamedly. Eventually the who I know I am on the inside, will be who I portray on the outside. And when other's see my *flair* they will know that above all, I LOVE.

my random and funny roommate

My roommate Tasia makes me laugh. All the time. Really makes me laugh. She's always saying something that is off the wall and random, especially when she's working on Y stuff. Tonight has been a wealth of randomness from her mouth. I've been listening to her commentary as she's getting ready for summer camp this year from last years information. After 30 minutes of me laughing at her while I was trying to write a blog about something else completely random, I decided to start writing down what she was saying instead. Keep in mind that you are missing the tone and at times, utter sarcasm, in her voice.

Here is a glimpse into the randomness of her mind...

"oh God, Phinney L#@$&d, that was the kid who bit me and left teeth marks!!"

"i hate having our meetings in the blue room. they never go well. something always happens in there. remember that time they made Shaun cry in there? you should've been a fly on the wall because you would have pissed your pants from laughter from the anarchy in that room!"

"You're just cracking yourself up over there!" ::she doesn't know what i'm doing::

"ohhhhh Ella!!! wait, what? nick kofahl doesn't have an email address?! whatever. you know it, give it to me." ::insert attempted 'threat' face here, which makes us both laugh. she's so vicious::

"earwink.net, really?! ear. wink. dot. net!!! freakin' BCSIS Hippies."

"::insert dr. evil laughter:: i just found the guy who called me an ass face. ha!! he's not coming back for sure."

"what are you doing over there?" ::i informed her of my blog post::

"GIRL!!! well, you better keep your fingers typing fast 'cause i'm freaking funny."

"no email address. who doesn't have an email address? unless you were born in 1920 you should have an email address!"

"arrghhh, this kid. i have no words. ::insert growling here::"

"oh this mom drove me crazy. whine, whine, whine. helicopter moms make my job hard. i mean really, of course they are going to cry if you hover over them for the first hour of program. get out and let me do my job already."

"oh, oh, ::insert squeaky voice:: Matthew!!! i loved matthew."

"i thought this parents name was Bammy, ::insert laughter here:: it's Barry!"

"thecatden@____.net! really, i mean really? that's one creepy ass cat lady, for sure." ::insert pause here:: "that's not going to be me is it?" NO "are you sure?" YES "i don't even like cats. but i'll be by myself and i'll have to get cats. then one day i'll die alone and then the cats start eating me to live. they'll start with my skin and then go to my tongue." WHAT? "yeah, because its soft and chewy." YOU ARE FREAKIN' ME OUT! ::insert continued discussion on what life would be like as a cat lady::

and with that, i must quit. you can't top the fear of becoming a cat lady discussion.

7 Factoids

My lovely friend Liz posted 7 'factoids' about herself and encouraged her readers to do the same. (You can read Liz's blog here or click on the "This is Liz..." link to the right of my page!!)

7 'Random' Factoids about me....

1. I like to browse and shop for greeting cards. Unfortunately, 75% of the time I never get around to sending the card once it's purchased. Oopsies!! Note to self: start mailing a card a week beginning Feb. 1st.

2. When I was younger, I used to dance in powwow's. And yes, I've even slept in a teepee.

3. Even though I'm outwardly an extroverty, showtunesin', look at me kinda girl, the inner part of me is shy, reserved and a bit of an introvert. I hide my insecurities by faking myself into confidence.

4. I am always making up and singing random lil' ditties about anything and everything. An example: I just sang a song to my roommate Tasia about what I perceive my day at the Y will be like tomorrow, which morphed into the joys of riding the bus, which morphed into Uggs!

5. I must have a latte in the morning and a cup of tea before bed. Preferably with yummy McVities HobNob's or Digestives.

6. Knitting relaxes and focuses me when I'm stressed out. Unfortunately, I'm a one hit wonder with knitting--and I'm okay with that. My one hit wonder of choice, or rather, my specialty is scarves. Only when I am with Sharon am I able to branch out into other fibre arts.

7. Talking to my friends on g-chat while I'm at work is what keeps me from jumping off the building to my death most days. Thank You to the 4 J's in my life: Julia, Jenn, Jacki & Jill for being the 'constant chatters' who always check in on me, always make me laugh and/or smile during my workday; as well as, letting me vent my frustrations when I need it. I love it when the "available" green dot is next to your names in my chat box.

Bonus Factoid: In case you haven't noticed, I'm very verbose!

Okay, If you've read this...especially you Rebecca....tag you're it!

Nostalgia: Ba de ya - say that you remember

Tonight, after Glee, I spent this evening baking cookies and listening to Earth, Wind and Fire, the Temptations and many other of my Motown favorites. Music has always been my stress relief. I love ALL types of music. Coming from a large family as mine, we all have different tastes in music. Which, fortunately for me, has given me an incredible eclectic mix of music to enjoy 24/7. Ever since I was an adorable wee child....I remember my dad and I would put on his records and then I would sing and dance around the house. I normally would have him in hysterics as I would do the Motown steps as if I were a Pip, Temptation or Four Top. I've always been quite the entertainer.

Tonight I'm wishing my dad was with me here in Colorado because I would put on a show for him for old time's sake just to see him smile like he used to. I loved my dad's laugh. It brings me joy just thinking about it. So...The last few days I've had "September" in my head by Earth, Wind and Fire. What's a girl to do? Well, I'll tell you. Tonight I put the music on, baked cookies and danced around my house. Obviously, Tasia is not home tonight. I have to introduce this side of me to her in baby steps. I'm not sure she's ready to dance around the house with me yet. Kate was a pro at it. Kate gets me and my ways. Of course, Kate is a lot like me. After all, we did devise a song about a wacky religion we created, with Jamie McGowan's help, called the Norma's. As well as, songs about Spam and other randomness. (Man, I miss Jamie & Kate!) And with Matthew B we expressed our love for green beans in many a facebook video. Plus, Matthew would dance with me around the house or wherever we felt the need to express ourself in such a manner. So, see, I'm not sure Tasia is ready for this quite yet.

BUT, I digress....Basically, I'm left home alone tonight to my own devices and I've decided to take a walk down memory lane and bake comfort food. It's so healing for the soul. It's been a rough week emotionally for me and I needed to escape and unwind. I believe I accomplished what I was aiming for this evening.



"SEPTEMBER" by Earth, Wind and Fire




And a more creative version that has been circulating around by Pomplamoose




I'll admit that I was dancing as free as the Grandma was in the latter video!! That's right.

Ba duda, ba duda, ba duda, badu
Ba duda, badu, ba duda, badu
Ba duda, badu, baduba

kanye's an arse

this is utterly wrong and funny, all at the same time.

Lord, Please send me a new camera.

I'm wishing and hoping and praying that the Lord will mail me a new nikon point and shoot. Maybe even a casio exilim. heck, it's the Big G, He could send me a D60 if He felt like it. As He knows I'm trying really hard to cut corners, spend less and go without to save money for the big European adventure 2010.

If you haven't guessed already....i broke my crappy, yet faithful, Kodak point and shoot today. I was so excited about the yarn shop that I wasn't paying attention and the poor Kodak went a flying, tumbling and eventually crashing to the ground. So, so, sad.

Why does everything need so much money? Boo. I'll never make the Euro tour at this rate. Oh wait...that's not being very faithful. I must take Graham's advice and reposition my thoughts and let faith rise within me. I can do this. I believe it will ALL happen.

I believe, I say!!

i have no words for this....

Picture it, Sicily 1912. Ha ha..just kidding. Okay, for reals, Picture this, Lafayette, CO 2009....sitting at SmashBurger having a nice and cheap lunch with Shauna as we partook of the Kids Meal. Always a cheaper deal and better portions. Shauna's goes inside to get a refill of her drink and next to me there were 2 men who were leaving and this is the conversation I overheard....

Guy 1: So do you know that song "I like big butts..."? 

Guy 2: Yeah. Why? (he looks perplexed at this point)

Guy 1: You so need to YouTube "Baby Got Book". It's so funny. If you can't find it that way look up "I like big bibles". Really it's so funny. 

Guy 2: Really?

Guy 1: Really. It's funny.

So of course, I had to look it up. I like funny things too. And this, friends, is what I found.....



I don't know whether to laugh, cry or maybe even throw up. I just don't know.

glee

i've been silent for awhile. i know, i know: miracle of miracles. but, i've needed time to process, mourn, ruminate over a few things and honestly, time to catch up and just breathe. i'm working through some grief, sorrow and even some regrets over the loss of my grandma. it's amazing how one situation can illuminate a thousand more in your life. maybe it's because you finally stop and have to face what's right in front of you. so, yeah. i have a lot on my mind these days. 

but i digress...

until i have my witty ways back again, i will leave you with the following clip from Glee. I watched the pilot online on Hulu a couple of days ago when I was avoiding doing what I should have been doing. And I loved it of course. Random singing & dancing with the Glee club in high school. What could be better? 

How much did you totally love that Rebecca??? ;)