Love Fern

I was getting a glass of water this evening and this is what I found....





I love my roommate. She makes me laugh.

And, tonight, I really needed to laugh.

**I also love the movie where she got the love fern quote!

my personal *flair*

A friend and I had an impromptu conversation the other day when she was opening my refrigerator (or 'ice box and/or fridge' for you Midwesterners) and was looking at all my 'flair'--as she referred to it--upon the refrigerator door. She then preceded to tell me that my flair helped her learn more about me, merely by what was being displayed.

And yes, I would say, the flair on my 'fridge reveals about 33.7% of who I am and what I'm like; it can't all be mine especially since a few of the magnets reveal my roommate Tasia's personal flair. As you glance at it, those who know me well, know how much I love the Rio. Oh how those margaritas beckon me!! And lo and behold, in the bottom left corner you will find a Rio "marg" magnet reminding me that 3 is the limit. Then I have my favorite quotes to inspire me each day. I firmly believe we should all "dwell in possibility,"--and thank you Emily Dickinson for your friendly reminder. Of course, there are the places I've been and/or want to live; friends who are superstar acoustic playing ninjas; wedding reminders; as well as, the pics of those who are dear to my heart--& my roommate Tasia's of course--and the memories I will treasure for years to come.

(Obviously not all of you are on there; yet rest in the fact that I still absolutely adore you and more than likely you are hanging elsewhere in my home.)

I think the magnet that describes the me I desire to be most accurately was bought for me out of the blue by my supervisor at work. She said when she saw it, she immediately thought of me. And when someone tells you something like that before handing over the trinket they found that * best describes* you from their opinion they've formed of you, you smile and hope with all your might that its not something crass or tacky, and is close to who you believe you are. Then there's that fear that of "what if how I see myself doesn't line up with how other's see me?" ::insert biting knuckles here:: I know, I know. I'm psychotic at times but these are the things that run amuck in my head. But alas, I loved how she saw me and I feel it's an accurate description of me; or at least, the me I try to be.

And, YES, I am fairly certain that given a cape and a nice tiara, I could save the world. I wholeheartedly do. At least in my wildest, full of faith, livin' on love and in the goodness of the Lord dreams...I, my friends, can change the world for the better.

Ever since this conversation with my friend about my 'fridge flair, it made me start to notice the 'flair' we, or really I, have in other places of our lives. The way we dress, the foods we choose, the social activities we participate in, the issues we fight for, where we are passionate, to name a few. Basically, all the many ways in which we identify who we are. And it made me start to take a good look at myself to make sure I'm accurately presenting who I am and who I want to be. And trust me, I know that because my lack of patience, my grumpiness, my neurotic anxiety at times, my sensitivities and yes, even how high strung I am when life is falling apart all around me...my flair is not always what I want to give off as my personal representation. Nor is it pretty, loving or becoming. Which in turn made me ponder more about how I'm presenting myself daily, because the most important thing I want to have portrayed is that I'm loving and that I love ALL. I mean, I have love tattooed on my arm for goodness sake. My seal and mantra that is permanently placed upon my arm to remind me that above all I am to love. And though there are days that I fail miserably, I still make a point to make sure I am putting forth love above all else. Yes, even when its a challenge. And I may not have it all down right now, but that's okay. As long as I keep striving forward and reminding myself to love, passionately and unashamedly. Eventually the who I know I am on the inside, will be who I portray on the outside. And when other's see my *flair* they will know that above all, I LOVE.

my random and funny roommate

My roommate Tasia makes me laugh. All the time. Really makes me laugh. She's always saying something that is off the wall and random, especially when she's working on Y stuff. Tonight has been a wealth of randomness from her mouth. I've been listening to her commentary as she's getting ready for summer camp this year from last years information. After 30 minutes of me laughing at her while I was trying to write a blog about something else completely random, I decided to start writing down what she was saying instead. Keep in mind that you are missing the tone and at times, utter sarcasm, in her voice.

Here is a glimpse into the randomness of her mind...

"oh God, Phinney L#@$&d, that was the kid who bit me and left teeth marks!!"

"i hate having our meetings in the blue room. they never go well. something always happens in there. remember that time they made Shaun cry in there? you should've been a fly on the wall because you would have pissed your pants from laughter from the anarchy in that room!"

"You're just cracking yourself up over there!" ::she doesn't know what i'm doing::

"ohhhhh Ella!!! wait, what? nick kofahl doesn't have an email address?! whatever. you know it, give it to me." ::insert attempted 'threat' face here, which makes us both laugh. she's so vicious::

"earwink.net, really?! ear. wink. dot. net!!! freakin' BCSIS Hippies."

"::insert dr. evil laughter:: i just found the guy who called me an ass face. ha!! he's not coming back for sure."

"what are you doing over there?" ::i informed her of my blog post::

"GIRL!!! well, you better keep your fingers typing fast 'cause i'm freaking funny."

"no email address. who doesn't have an email address? unless you were born in 1920 you should have an email address!"

"arrghhh, this kid. i have no words. ::insert growling here::"

"oh this mom drove me crazy. whine, whine, whine. helicopter moms make my job hard. i mean really, of course they are going to cry if you hover over them for the first hour of program. get out and let me do my job already."

"oh, oh, ::insert squeaky voice:: Matthew!!! i loved matthew."

"i thought this parents name was Bammy, ::insert laughter here:: it's Barry!"

"thecatden@____.net! really, i mean really? that's one creepy ass cat lady, for sure." ::insert pause here:: "that's not going to be me is it?" NO "are you sure?" YES "i don't even like cats. but i'll be by myself and i'll have to get cats. then one day i'll die alone and then the cats start eating me to live. they'll start with my skin and then go to my tongue." WHAT? "yeah, because its soft and chewy." YOU ARE FREAKIN' ME OUT! ::insert continued discussion on what life would be like as a cat lady::

and with that, i must quit. you can't top the fear of becoming a cat lady discussion.