Wednesday, March 2, 2011

bedtime ADD

really tired. but can not sleep...AT ALL!!!

the most random thoughts are floating around my head and, unfortunately, keeping me wide awake. i wish there was some sort of order to them, but my mind is in ADD mode right now. It looks a little like this:

....i don't want to go to work tomorrow...

...how many more days until i have a new niece?...

...sheesh, you need to go to sleep...

{insert quiet mind for maybe 3.2 seconds here, then the beat begins in my head}

...the scars of your love remind me of us, they keep me thinking that we almost had it all, the scars of your love, they leave me breathless, i can't help feeling we could have had it all...

...stop, go to sleep...

...i think i really want to write a book...

{insert rhythmic drum beat sounds floating around my head right about now}

...i wonder if there are any powwows coming up soon?...

...don't forget to write the pro's and con's for your future plans...

...Really, really?! Go to sleep...

...how do I become the main character in my story, rather than the quirky sidekick? more importantly, how do i make my story more meaningful?...

{insert frustrated sigh here}

...latte in the morning? yes, please! ooo, i'll get one for Janet too...

...okay, this is ridiculous, you need to sleep...

{silence for about 10 seconds}

...maybe i'll blog....



and so on, and so on!!!!!

funnily enough those really are only some of the thoughts, lyrics and sounds floating around in my head.

frustrating.

so here i am. awake. blogging. not sleeping. thinking. of complete utter ridiculousness. mixed in with a song that i can't seem to escape. add a dash of overwhelming thoughts--good, bad, happy, sad--about the joy ride i like to refer to as an emotional rollercoaster regarding the next season of my life. if i were to be completely honest, i would say that its more the "dash" that's keeping me awake, and avoiding, and in overdrive with bedtime ADD as i'm still not 100% how to process the next season yet.

???








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