a little "Christmas ReMix" that I wrote for Hope & I and our Christmas Eve!!“Twas the Night Before Christmas: ReMix”‘Twas the night before Christmas, in the big Kofinck house
not a creature was stirring, not even Ella’s Minnie mouse.
There were no stockings, no bells, sadly, no Christmas wreaths,
There was nothing that resembled Christmas; no not even a tree.
Tobey, the big black dog, was all snug in his bed,
While visions of gourmet doggie bones, danced in his head.
Hope was in her Mraz sweats, and I in my funky hat,
sat down on the couch, for a holiday night cap.
When out in the yard, there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the couch, to see what was the matter.
Away to the window, I flew like a flash
When tearing open the orange colored drapes, I almost got whiplash.
There was a full moon this night, and it glowed upon the cold snow,
Fortunately for us, it wasn’t 40 below.
When, what to my wondering, and slightly tipsy, eyes should appear,
But what looked like a sleigh and 8 ghetto reindeer.
in the sleigh there was someone, so lively and quick,
I thought to myself, “hmmm, that better be St. Nick?”
Faster than eagles, those crazy reindeers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, yes, he called each by name;
"Now, Shaniqua! now, LaFawnduh! now, Dante and Lady Vixen!
On, Lil’ Jon! on baby boo! on, Da Dondra and BlitzGin!
up to the top uh da house, creepin’ a jig like a crawl!
Fo shizzle, my hizzle! But don’t hit that wall!"
So up to the house-top those ghetto reindeers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys, St. Nick and his Boo.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
the prancin’ and dancin’ of each little hoof.
As I drew in my breath, and turned quickly around,
Down through the chimney, St. Nick came boogying down.
He was dressed all pimped out in his red Armani fur,
but the snow fell in behind him and all I could say was, “burr!”;
A bundle of treats he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a bit like p-diddy opening his luxurious pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled, like icicle Christmas lights!
His cheeks were like roses, oh what a sight!
His odd little mouth was a grinnin’ real big,
And the beard of his chin looked, what I thought, like a wig;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke circled his head like a white Christmas wreath;
He had a happy face and a little round belly,
And it shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
He looked for the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
He finally looked at me and this question he posed….
”No stockings, no wreaths, not even a tree?”
As I shook my head yes, he said, “how can this be?”
He said, “that’s okay,
make the best of this glorious day.
Make memories between you, on Jesus’ Birthday!!!”
And I heard him exclaim, as he flew out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to Raelynn & Hope,
& a very good-night."
