peace out cubscout!

i have the urge to abandon ship.
i want to take flight and get out of here.

but, i won't.
at least i don't think i will.

yep.

Happy New Year!!!

wow. another year has passed and another year begins.

i have high hopes for this year. i know that's a cliche statment to make. but, i really do have high hopes. and that's a good thing. i have been feeling the brewing of "newness" and "change" within my Spirit the past few months. but, let me say, the birthing pains of this newness and change have been strong lately. almost overwhelmingly so.
makes me wonder what's around the corner?

ooh, the anticipation!

Vince & Amy

so, last night, as Hope and i sat at the airport waiting for Halen and Asher to arrive from SLC, we were chillin' by the arrivals gate when i saw someone who looked so familiar. and in my head i thought, "how do i know him? hmmm??" . then it occured to me, "i do know him, that's Vince Gill!!" and then i thought, "no!". but then i immediately noticed the woman he was with and it looked like Amy Grant. however, i just kind of dismissed it again. as i turned to Hope she sayed, "Is that Vince Gill and Amy Grant?" and I said, "Yes, you noticed too!" because for a moment, i thought i was seeing things. or i just assumed that Vince and Amy had dopplegangers running around DIA!


today as i've thought about seeing good ole Vince and Amy, it has brought back many memories from my younger years.

**i will confess...i had the biggest crush ever on Vince. yes, it's true. i remember thinking he had one of the most beautiful voicesi had ever heard. okay, i still do. oh Vince!!
**i will also confess...i wore out my Amy Grant "Collection" CD. actually, i think it was a tape!! Wow, i'm really dating myself here. I remember singing for hours to "El Shaddai", "Sing Your Praise to the Lord", "Emmanuel"...etc. Plus, "I Will Remember You" was our graduation theme song.

so, you see, Amy & Vince have been a part of my life for many years now. ;)

WOW!!! I could go on...
but, i choose to stop the memory lane train here.

sadly,

i am bitter today. not sure why? but everything is kinda pissing me off.

yes, today, i am not in my "i love you-people pleasing-how can i make your life better" attitude mode!!

if you don't like it, tough.

"let go"

2 little words made from 5 little letters. and what do they make up?
one of life's hardest lessons.

i have been on a hard, but necessary journey the last half of this year. and within the last 2 months this learning to "let go" journey has been intensifying in it's desire for me to learn this, what seems little, but, huge lesson.

LET GO!!! i hear these words shouting at me in a quiet, but deafening voice. Let go. Let go. Let go.

and on this journey, one thing remains the same, i'm finding the hardest thing for me is to let go.

letting go of...
~trying to please others
~the way i feel things should be
~my expectations & preconceived notions of who i expect others to be
~the past
~worrying about the future
~what i can not control--even though i try real hard
~me

i have a few amazing friends who have been encouraging me along the way. to you few, and you know who you are, thank you so much for your constant support. because i'm finding this is one of the toughest lessons i've ever had to learn. the one i've known i've always needed to learn and the one my control freak self has been fighting against for many many years now.

but like i said, that quiet but deafening voice keeps repeating to me daily...LET GO!! so each new day i continue to take steps, baby steps that is, and continue pressing forward knowing that though this is difficult, it's going to bring forth the freedom in my life that i've been desperately searching for, for what seems like forever now.

nice web mr. crack spider

this made me laugh...alot!

"The Evil Eye"