it's been awhile...

but ...
i'm still here.
i'm still alive.
i'm still being.
i'm still loving.

the thoughts.

oh the thoughts.

i haven't slept a full night in over 2 weeks.

i'm learning i can run,

but i can't hide!!

pblhhh, flibberflob!!!

chocolate chip disaster

This weekend I had a FAIL of epic proportions. I managed to screw up not 1, but 2 chocolate chip cookie batches. It killed my spirit a little. Not much, but a little. I have never in my life thrown out cookie batter. And to do it twice was death to my ego. I'm not sure how I can face heading into prime holiday baking season with this hanging over my head now.

My roommates, Ginger and Mary Anne, said they wanted to taste it to see if it was as bad as I thought it was...but, I was so frustrated I dumped the batter in the trash. I may, or may not, get a little feisty and irrational when I'm upset about something when it comes to culinary creations. Regardless, I know something was wrong. A baker just knows. It was off. It was not even satisfactory....in my opinion. And since I was the one baking, I'm the one that says, Yay or Nay!!! And NAY it was folks, Nay it was.

I'm hoping that this looming cloud of depression of failing so bionically when it comes to baking won't hover long. But, I've decided the best thing to do is bake something this week to overcome the tragedy of the chocolate chip cookies. Then I'll be back in the game. Right? Right!!

To Rahlunn, Love Zane

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Bake-ity, Baking!!

It's that time of year again. I have the baking bug. The need to be a domestic goddess like my friends Halen and Becca. I think its the cooler temperatures that tempt me to find my inner domesticity. As well as, there's something about baking and cooler weather that is comforting to me. To those of you who don't know the inner workings of Raelynn, I like to bake in my high heels and yoga pants. I may, or may not, also speak in a variety of voices. Voice of choice for yesterday, Julia Child. Also, yesterday, I decided that just maybe I need an apron to complete my random, but oh so sexy {NOT} look. Plus I had flour ALL over me. I spent the day baking until I had other obligations that beckoned my name. Namely, work. Boo to the hoo.

Baking experience for Sunday November 7th:
Homemade, from scratch--spent a good hour peeling and slicing up apples--apple pie
Not from a box or freezer, thank you very much, lasagna!!

It was all scrumdiddlyumpcious!!!!

Here's the filling that made the house smell like cinnamony, grandma's house on a Saturday morning, better than a yankee candle GOODNESS.....




And here's the pie all nicely put together....



My intention was to take a pic after the fact, BUT...as my life is, craziness distracted me. And as soon as the lasagna was scarfed down, the family was ready for some yummy pie. I can't show you a picture, but I can promise you that it was fan-flippin'-tastic!!! I was impressed with myself. Actually I think I pulled a muscle giving myself a pat on the back.

and the randomness goes on...

1. I'm in love with Market Spice iced tea, right now, from Brewing Market.

2. I do not love Brewing Market in general, but there tea is yummy and their barista's are fun. (Yeah, I'm talkin' about you Sarah Norris)

3. Every day this week has seemed like an eternity. For real. It's only 1:45pm and I feel like I've been at work for 100 hours.

4. I'm blogging on my lunch break. So deal.

5. I haven't ran at all this week. Oopsies. I even have a new goal to run more often. But, it's cold in CO in the wee hours of the morning.

6. Speaking of wee hours of the morning, ever since I moved in with my besties, Wilma & Betty, I have been getting up at like 5:30am. Seriously? I mean, seriously!

7. I spent more time at Kaiser this week than I would have liked.

8. I'm dreaming of vacations and beaches and besties and fun.

9. I feel the need to bake. Something yummdiddidlyumpscious. Any suggestions?

10. I'm dreaming of a Utah Christmas.

11. I miss Jenn. I haven't seen her in ages. She lives just a few miles away. Where are you Jenn?

12. Jeg elsker deg.

This is Spencer.
He's making the ice all pretty for J-Dawg and her skating crew.




They never let me drive that Olympia.
Like I'll break it or something?!
Sheesh!!

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jet ski across the pacific ocean?!

My friends Garret & Tyler retweeted directions for iphone users to use their 'google maps' to get directions from Japan to China and then to look at direction #43.

It was AWESOME!!!!!

phewwww....it's been a week.

do over

today was not a fun day. at all!!
i'm thinking it's a good time to go to bed and try again tomorrow!

this and that

Fall is Yummy!!
I love the colors, the smells, the sounds. Mmmm, I love it all.



To those of you who are wondering...Yes, Tobey is still alive. I've walked him, fed him, played with him, talked in the ooey gooey you're a good boy voice. He made a comeback and ate a full meal, finally, on thursday night.



Though he did go on a food strike again today; and i'm surprised I haven't keeled over dead from the gas that is emitting from his bottom. Yeah, too much information, I know. He really wants his moms back. But honestly, so do I. I really miss my besties; they're my safe place. But I'm glad that they are getting some much needed R&R. They deserve it.

Tomorrow I bake cookies for the Halloween party at the Y. I'm excited about baking. I need some much needed baking and domesticity in my life. I think i'll bake in my sexy heals. Yeah, I said it and I'll do it.

tobey is a dog, people! {ahem, Rebecca}*

*please refer to previous post!

zzzzzz...

i am so very tired. crazy tired. loopy tired. not only am i tired...

i looked a hot mess today.

my friend jamie, in the kindest way possible said, "you look deflated today". basically she was saying..."gurrrl, you look toe-up. go home and try again"!! and yes, i agree. it was one of those days that you catch a glimpse of yourself and you wish you could find a whole to crawl in to until it passes. i went back to her office later and said, "you were being kind!" Her response, "well, i didn't know how to say it and i didn't want to hurt your feelings".

why am i tired, you ask?

well let me tell you people. poor {not so} little tobey has been sad that his momma's are gone on a carribean cruise for 2 weeks. so he is stuck here with me who is not his momma. more like his lovable aunt, but not his momma.

how do i know this?

well, he's not been tobey-like. and he keeps going to the front window looking out investigating and i'm sure he's thinking, "hey, that's my mom's car." he then runs upstairs to the room and looks around. realizing mom is not there he slumps his head, walks over to his spot on the floor and plops down. other telltale signs include, but not limited to:

not eating

following me around everywhere--i know the pain of mother's who can't shake the kids on their hiney

not sleeping--oh the not sleeping, help me Jesus

still not eating

upset stomach--in which the rumbling literally woke me up this morning

depressed

mopey

shall i continue? no? fine.

we are only on day 3 people. day 3!!!

the poor {not so} little guy needs to shape up and realize he's stuck with me until their return--11 more days!!! and that he'll also realize i will take care of him. love him. feed him. take him on walks. here's to hoping we find our rhythm so he gets comfortable. but more importantly as its all about me, i'm hoping i get to sleep soon. i don't do well with no sleep. i get sick. i get cranky. i become crazed! so for tobey and my sake, lets say a prayer that his sadness will pass soon and that...

i. get. some. SLEEP.

shhh....

I have a secret.
A good one.

Really.
Nothing harmful.
Something exciting.

Very.
I can't say a thing.
I'm sworn to secrecy.

Girl Scout honor.

Pinkie promise.

A couple more weeks.
I'm bursting at the seems.

I have a secret.

Doo-dah, doo-dah!!

i just felt like runnin' UPDATE

I survived the race on Sunday, which was a grand feat for me. Especially since I forgot my inhaler on the chilly and rainy day and my lungs were BURNING!!!



Jill Carter is one of the best friends I have and she loves me well. She could have easily went on ahead, as I told her it was okay because I run at turtle speed, but she said it was not about winning, but running with me for a good cause. So we respectively came in last place together at a speed of 37:09 minutes. Granted there were only 12 5k-ers. Everyone else was doing the triathalon!! So, we kept it under 40 minutes even with the asthma/burning lungs/save me Sweet Baby Jesus I can't breathe moments.

Here's a pic of Team Crossroads--(minus Adam who was already on the biking portion of the triathalon)...



I believe the team was able to raise around $1700 for the first grade school in Mumbai, India. Check out more information on Crossroads International and the Alpha Care program, by clicking HERE or the link on the sidebar of my blog.

Go Team Crossroads!!!

testing, testing

1, 2, 3, 4


hello?

i just felt like runnin'

on Sunday i run a 5k

normally, i'd say no way

but it's for a good cause

so i did not pause

to jump right on in

though i know i won't win

unfortunately i'm sure i'm gonna die

or most likely, i'm definitely gonna cry

because on Monday i ran to Africa and back

well maybe that's a bit dramatic as a matter of fact

and my ankles got all blistered and bloody

and definitely the new shoes got all kinds of muddy

all this said

i hope i get out of bed

on sunday morning

or jill will come roaring

because she's my running partner

and i don't want to cross her

how and when will this poem end

here's a good place to put in the word backbend

adios, arrivederci, later, goodbye

now it's time for a little chocolate pie

Sure sign that the jewelry store is going to be expensive...








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Shannon

Shannon comes today!! I heart her. I heart her so much.
I'm so excited, to say the least.
Our days will be full of adventure, laughs, silliness, browsing, shopping, rooftop patios with yummy drinks & food, and all kinds of girl fun.
Looking forward to 339pm when she arrives on that Frontier plane.





Ps...yes, shannon, you can bring your mascara in your carry on bag.

life. deflated.

::sigh::

I miss you beach!!






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Friday Smiles

1. It's Friday!!

2. Oklahoma State T-shirt day. Go Pokes!!

3. J-Dawg saying, "It's because I like cow, Raelynn!"

4. Hysterical laughs with Jana, aka J-Dawg after above said comment in reference to our chicken or beef quick convo.

5. My roommate's, aka Betty & Wilma or Ginger and Mary Ann, always make me feel utterly special. I have been given the gift of an amazing family. Thank you Jesus.

6. Knowing that in 1 week the lovely Shannon will be in town. Whoop, whoop!!

7. It's pay day friday. Plus my crazy ex-landlord gave me the full deposit, plus 3 days credit back today. Hell yeah.

8. Michael Buble! Yeah, I said it.

9. Surprising Cassie with my mad skills in car dancing and enjoying a song that apparently she would not expect me to enjoy at all. (There's a wealth of mystery inside me people!!)

10. Jesus loves me, no matter my attitude towards Him.

And last, but certainly not least...




It's so tasty too!!!

my head has been POUNDING uncontrollably today!! nothing has worked. actually my sinus/allergy issues have been taking me for a joyride for the whole week now. today i had my first breathing treatment of the season. :(

boo to the hoo.

Jana Banana

Hi Jana!!

This little blog post is especially for you. Thanks for becoming a new follower. You truly make my days at the good ole YMCA a lot more brighter when I see your face--especially those Jana one of a kind bows! (wink, wink!) But...you need to get a little dirt on you soon.

Next year.
Me.
You.
Warrior Dash!!!
Mud.
For sure.

Yep. That's all!!

Raelynn

Can't sleep

...and the thoughts that are running through my head are weirdly all about running and as
follows...

1. I wish I could sleep.
2. I don't want to run in the morning.
3. Running is stupid.
4. Please, Lord, let me fall asleep.
5. If I don't go to sleep soon I'll have to skip running and then I'll have to run more on Thursday.
6. Running is the thorn in my side.
7. Why am I running?
8. Gosh, I really need to sleep!!!
9. Run. Sleep. Run. Sleep.
10. Why me?


This post is absolutely pointless; but I can't sleep and thought it might waste some time why'll I'm WIDE awake--but should be sleeping as 530am comes early!
Lord, give me grace for running!!!


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boulder fire

Keep praying friends for this is not good at all!!

UTAH....

Oh how I miss you sooooo!!!!!!!!!!

A visit is needed super duper soon.

my brain hurts

sometimes my head has so much running amuck through it, i feel like it will literally explode. this is one of those days. no matter how hard i try i can't quiet it, still it, or even focus on one thing. it's equivalent to fireworks. there are some here, there and everywhere. you get overwhelmed at trying to see everything all at once, but can't really focus on one particular thing, because something else is catching your attention too. my mind is an explosion of firework thoughts today.

i can already tell, it's just one of those days that a girl goes through!



ps ...for some reason, as of late, i tend to slide in lines from songs in everything i say and write. part of my complete and utter silliness, i guess. did you see where i put it above. of course, you'd have to be in an old school frame of mind.

I survived

I went up the mountain a girl and came down a Warrior!! Battle wounds and all.




More details to come later!!


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Random

Sometimes I look at my iPhone camera and wonder when in the hell I took this photo?!

The random I touched too many things and didn't realize i was on camera mode on my fancy phone strikes again.






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Oh...my...pain

After a month of no Peggy in my life, today our first training session was fan-flippin'-tastic. It HURT so good. I may not be able to walk at this moment. But who needs to be able to walk? Walking is overrated.

I'm excited to be back in the game. I've been a bit lazy. And I realized today that I have a little over a month to get ready for the Warrior Dash. It's time for some serious focus. I got this!!

Ps and by the way, I took a walk when I got home to stretch out my muscles that haven't moved in over a month. As I enjoyed the leisure stroll, because again Peggy hurt me today, I enjoyed a little MMMbop by Hanson. Heck yeah I did. Try not walking with some pep in your step when that shuffles through on the ipod.

proactiveness

Today, I realized, I need to be more proactive about my life.

Where I want to live?

What I want to do?

Who I want to be?

And all of those heavy things that we tend to ignore and hope that the stars align and all will fall into place. I'm realizing more and more that is not the case. And I need to be more proactive about my life. I can hope, wait, wish for everything, but it's going to have to be me to let go of fear and just go for it. Whatever it may be?!

3 day reprieve

I've been lazy all weekend. It's been nice. It's given me some time to rest, reflect and space to hope again.




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in the meantime

thinking.

waiting.

wishing.

waiting.

hoping.

waiting.

praying.

waiting.

begging.

waiting.

pleading.

waiting.

waiting.

waiting.

ps and by the way....

I did it folks!! I accomplished my blog challenge.



Some may have been lame and/or trivial posts, but the point is...I did what I said. Whoopity-freakin'-hooo. Look what I can do!! And actually I do notice a difference its made, because I find that the creative juices have been flowing again; which was my main goal. To dig out that inner creativity within me that's been lying dormant.


Now, I challenge you to create your own blog challenge. (Psst, Kate, I'm talking to you!!)

I leave you with this, and yes I know I'm ripping off the Nike catchphrase, "Just do it!"


Or to be Oprahesque, "Live your best life!" Acutally, too bad Oprah uses that all the time, because it's actually something to strive for, so yeah, Live your best life!

becoming gold

"Being shaped is never easy. Becoming gold is never as easy or as quick as I would like it to be. Have you ever felt that way? Whether it’s a job that is slowly wearing you down or a relationship that feels tangled or a dream that is dying on the vine as you work somewhere to pay the bills, life is not always easy. And to be honest, there are days when I want to yell, “Where are you God? I catch no glimpse of you!”

But the truth for me and the truth for you, is that he is at work.

Even if we do not see him. Even if we catch no glimpse of him. Even if the testing weighs heavy, he is in motion. He is unchanging. He is relentless with his grace and mercy and love.

He knows the way we take.

And he will bring us forth as gold."

I think Jon Acuff with his Serious Wednesday post, is reading my journals and knows exactly what's going on in my mind. Again, here he goes addressing what's been ruminating around in my mind.

Go read his new post, here!

Eclipse

In 1 hour and 45 minutes!!

victory is mine, almost

I'm 1 day away from completing my blog challenge. I can't believe it. I've actually accomplished something from beginning to end. Well, almost.

Hmmmm.....makes me think that there's so much more for me to accomplish out there if I just start small and add steps each day. I need to get past the mentality that I have to do everything perfect from the start. I just want it all to be easy, I know that.

I am a work in progress!!!

9 at 9

1. Sitting here with Rhonda & Ellyn and i've noticed that soap operas NEVER change. Ever.

2. Coldstone is yummyness. My pick tonight, "All lovin', no oven"!

3. I'm very fond of Liz Lewis. She gets me. That makes my heart happy.

4. Courageous: I need to find this within me again.

5. Sometimes people just suck.

6. Cold gummy bears are hard to chew.

7. I'm blessed to have amazing friends who've journeyed with me through some craptacular moments during this season in my life.

8. My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

9. I heart Jesus so so so much. Even when I think He doesn't see me, He does.

Water from the dry well

On my way home with Liz from somewhere past Woodland Park, venturing from Worship @ 8500.

It was amazing!!! My heart and soul needed the Jesus love that I experienced tonight.

::insert sigh of relief here::


More details to come later.



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Jeeping

Today was a good day.
Lots of pretty views.
Jeeping.
Fabulous friends.
Life is good.






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Yay

Yay, Thank God it's Friday.

Yay, for celebrating Jacki again with multiple friends this time.

Yay, for Ellyn and Rhonda...2 of my most favorite people right now.

Yay, for Jeeping trip plans for the weekend.

Yay, Yay, Yay!!

picture it: Louisville, June 24, 2010

there's a girl who had a long day at a place where village people can stay when they are short on the dough. and where those same village people can get their self clean, maybe have a good meal. she rides the public transportation system further into the heart of boulder to meet a friend in order to partake of yummy margs and some casual conversation. good times were had. she then ventures back to that public transportation and makes her way out of the depths of the boulder valley area and up the hill to mayberry where all is well and happy. she moseys in to her very hot home, as the colorful state doesn't believe in air conditioning, and opens up windows and turns on fans. she proceeds to get some ice and then heads to the faucet to fill her cup of refreshing goodness. as she's turning away from the faucet something catches her eye. it's large. it's white and blue. it's large. it's ruining the beauty and tranquility of her back yard. she turns around, looks again and notices that her neighbor, whom she shares a backyard with, decided to buy an above ground swimming pool without asking any of the other tenants. this said neighbor apparently doesn't think that her rabbit cages, plethora of tom cats and other critters, not to mention the countless other junk, er i mean treasures, that are stowed away in the back yard is enough. a pool should be back there too. a pool. the girl ponders why the neighbor would buy a pool. is this okay with the crazy landlord who freaks out if you buy a door handle that's $20 because that is somehow too much? as there is a price limit on safety. and it's really cheap. will the landlord freak? when the landlord gets her water bill and it's sky high, will the said landlord decide that maybe tenants who don't ask if they can have a pool in their backyard need to start paying their own water bill? oh the questions, oh the questions. if that's the case. the girl will be very upset with her cuckoo magoo neighbor. and will decide that maybe cuckoo magoo neighbor can pay crazy landlord for water from here on out.

side note: girl also notices that other neighbor who works so hard to make the backyard a garden of delight, peace and tranquility is pacing ever so nervously and pissedly while puffing cigarettes as if there is not tomorrow. why the eye sore in her backyard of bliss? i'm sure she too is also wondering what crazy landlord is going to say. will this be the straw that breaks the camel's back? will crazy landlord flip her lid?

we shall see, we shall see!

Faith like Robbie P.

"When you doubt God's goodness, you doubt the very core of who He is. Love and compassion and kindness are not His attributes. They are His heart and soul. They are not His hobbies. They are the lifeblood of who He is. They are his fingerprints and breath. They are His everything."


That little ditty came from a blog that I enjoyed ever so much today. Because, I too, have faith like Robert Pattinson and Jon Acuff

Having faith like Robert Pattinson

Go Read it, now!!

Take It Easy

"Take it easy

Take it easy

Don't let the sound of your own wheels

Drive you crazy

Lighten up while you still can

Don't even try to understand

Just find a place to make your stand

And take it easy"

Tonight I was on my walk and Travis Tritt came on my ipod as it was on its shuffle mix. And I got super excited, because country music always makes me happy; and always reminds me of my Oklahoma. Yes, Rebecca, I really enjoy country music, you can quit rolling your eyes at me. Anywhoo...I dare say, as I know that you may judge me, I found some deep thoughts for my life in a quick 25 second section of a country song. (Shut it, Rebecca) Regardless of your judgement, as I will just tell you to bite me, the above lyrics stood out for a few reasons and settled nicely into my soul.

I will now break down for you those reasons....

1. I do in fact need to "take it easy" more often. As of late I seem to be a bit, okay a lot, stressed out and more high strung than i'd like to admit. But unfortunately, it's painfully obvious no matter how hard I try to hide it.

2. I tend to let the "sound of my own wheels" drive me crazy. I think, muse, ruminate, ponder, mull over, analyze to death my life and the issues that so unkindly demand the majority of my time. I am having a hard time learning to wait on the Lord. (This is a whole other blog post!)

3. I need to "lighten up while I still can" before I go completely bonkers and need to be admitted for treatment. Me worrying about everything is not going to change the stressors, but I can change the way I have been approaching them.

4. I spend so much time trying to understand everything. So...I need to take heed to Travis' advice and not try to. Some things I'll never understand, so why keep forcing? It's NOT going to happen. I won't understand it all. Arghh!!

5. I need to be more aware of and confident in what is in my power to control. Take things one step at a time. Hence, "Just find a place to make your stand"! I keep focusing on the whole picture, the finished product, the final masterpiece and trying to get the results without seeing the layers of how to get me there. (Thanks Liz! I learned that nugget of wisdom from you!) So then it ends up being a big mess. Not a masterpiece at all. I need to learn to see and walk through the layers.

6. Again, I just need to "Take it easy", let my faith rise and always hope for the best. That's really all I can do.

And that my friends, is how Travis Tritt and country music helped focus me tonight!!

It's really okay Rebecca. Country music is not of the devil.

off the top of my head...

L.A. was fabulous. I miss my girls. I miss the beaches. I miss the relaxation. I'm suffering from the "after vacation back to the crappiness of life" blues.



It's really loud in my office right now. Excruciatingly loud. It thundered or there was lightening or something of that sorts, so all of the swim folk have come indoors to wait it out. Right outside my window where I'm suppose to work. This is not conducive to a working environment.



I'm supposed to be taking a 2 week sabotical from worry and learning to just "wait!" Well, see how that goes.



I hear thunder. I'm supposed to be catching a bus in an hour. I hope the rain goes away.



I am super tan, er I mean super brown, and am burnt in a few places that aren't that fun to be burnt. Yes, the ladies are smokin'! Figuratively and seriously.



I'm proud of myself for keeping up with my blog challenge. Even if some posts are lame. The point is I'm posting.



I'm waiting for Jenn to post a blog. I asked her to an hour or so ago. Where is it Jenn?



It's POURING down rain right now. Creepy rain. Again, I have to take a bus in about an hour. Whoop, whoop for rain!! I got this, right?



Now there's hail. Large balls of hail. Ah, Shitake!!



That's all folks.

Bye L.A.

L.A.

Having all sorts of rest and fun. I have desperately needed it.

Might be a bit hyper away from the chaos, though. The girls have been patient and full of grace.


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Jacki's 30th

L.A.
Trader Joe's
In-n-Out
Beach
Rest
Laughter
Fancy Schmancy Dinner






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Cantankerous

That's what a parent called me today. It made me laugh after a week of much worse.

I had a few things to call him too. But, alas, I can't do that...nor would I want to. Okay, maybe sometimes I want to.



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i'm so.....

EXCITED!!!

I have a secret that will be revealed tonight. Whoop, whoop!! It's going to be a smorgasboard of love for one lovely recipient.

Whoop, whoop!!!

rushing

i've been brooding over my life a lot lately. i know you can't tell from my pointless posts, but i've really been thinking over my life. such as, how i see it, how i'm living it. i've noticed that i'm always rushing through my life.

rushing to work.

rushing to appointments.

rushing to get everything done.

rushing in my life.

rushing. rushing. rushing.

i've been told often that i need to pause and find time for me. Really? you think so? But the question i always come back with is....

when? i ask you...when?

it's not that i want to be busy or that i want to be rushing. at this point its a matter of survival. actually for most of my life it's been about survival. getting to the next thing, in hopes that it will get me to the next thing. in hopes that at some point i'll reach some sort of accomplishment--other than just surviving of course.

my goal

is to find a way to take time to not rush so much, but actually look at what i want and the steps i need to get there. but that will of course take some discipline on my part.

oh geez!

but as cliche as it sounds....the best things worth having take patience, diligence and not giving up but walking forward.

here's to hoping i can!!!

resume's

we've been hiring at the YMCA for more camp staff as those little urchins need more staff to keep up with them. trust me i know. i had to go to the Denver aquarium today because we are short staffed; hence why we are hiring. those little urchins, whom i absolutely adore, did their best at keeping me on my toes today. i think i counted them every 5 minutes to make sure i had each one of them with me. and trust me, when you are in an aquarium with other camps, all you can do is count them, call their names and continuously make sure you can see each of them every second. i'm not a fan of the "field trip" at sites i don't normally attend. merely because i don't know the kids that well, so it makes me uneasy.

anyway, as resumes have been coming in, there was one that caught my eye. it was a girl who put a picture of herself on her cover letter. not just of herself...but rather of her and a bunny rabbit. yep, you read that right. a bunny rabbit.

now i haven't filled out a resume in over 3 years. is that the new thing? unless you're a model or an actor, i can't imagine needing a photo on your resume. but hey, i can give you the need to put a photo because you want them to know who you are and what they are getting, per se. but, yourself and a bunny?!

i'm not sure that's the way to go.

rainy day

i stayed in today.

loafed on the couch...

all day!!

in my pj's.

without a thought to getting any work done.

you see,

sometimes,

you just need a day to do nothing.

sit in quiet.

and just be.

G-ma C

I've been missing my grandma Charlotte a lot the past few weeks. I think of her nearly everyday, but I tend to long for her when I'm feeling out of sorts. I love how grandparents have a way to love you and keep you feeling safe. Even though she passed away years ago, I still feel her with me. I know she's there encouraging me and believing in me. That thought is what drives me to jump the hurdles that present themselves, more than I would like, in my life. But I do wish I could sit with her one more time and listen to her witty ways. She was amazing and always knew how to make the "blah" seem to disappear.

Man, I miss her!!!




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Tequila

Just because I feel I need to post something because of the blog challenge...

Too much tequila!!!


Again, it's been a rough week. Really rough.




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"I can do anything good!"

Hope sent me this video via google chat a few weeks ago. And before I went to work this morning I had my own little affirmation session in my bathroom mirror.

Not kidding.

Needless to say it has been horrible at the Y. Oh, Summertime. Summertime is rough at the Y for me. Yesterday I was bitched out by almost every parent that called in and/or came up to my window. For real. I had a breakdown in the registration office when my boss walked in from being M.I.A for 4 days and her first order of business was to pile on more work. Have I mentioned that I'm already drowning and am behind as is at this point? I know I'm not supposed to take it personally, but when EVERYONE is bitching at you and you feel like you don't have support, it wears you down. Once the tears came my boss told me to walk outside and take a breather and pull my self together. Fortunately for me, Jacki and Jill were at the Y, so I could go find them poolside and take a moment to regroup. When I was walking out to the pool I was accosted with love by some of my favorite kiddos. First, Libby, who is a kindred spirit, and then I heard this voice go, "hi, hi, hi" and I looked for the voice and saw Zeph running for me and he gave me a big wet hug. I didn't even care. I just took in the lovin'. Then of course, Ava, Zane and Ella are always there with love for me when they are at the Y. There's something so pure and fantastic about kids and their love for you. It can't be faked. You get the real deal with kids.
It was a much needed break.

When Jill was leaving and I had started crying at my window, again (sheesh!), from being overwhelmed, she went and got me an iced caramel machiatto. And when she came back she left me with a drink and some words of wisdom that went something like this...."don't let these jokers get you down"!

My hero, for sure!!!

Yesterday was just one of those days. It is what it is. Today, after my affirmation, I had a better attitude and felt ready to face the crazies. Nothing necessarily changed regarding work and the people, but I felt more ready to conquer the day.

Anyway...for those of you that need a little affirmation to get your day going. Check out this wee gem.




Okay, your turn. Try it out in the morning before you walk out the door.

i need a vacation.
somewhere far, far, far away.
exotic.
peaceful.
substantially far away from all the crazies that i find myself surrounded by at this time.

i really need a vacation!

Sometimes you just have to say it

...today could only be classified as HELL. How many Boulder Valley parents can 1 person be bitched out by in one day? I tell ya, it's more than you know.

....i'm going to stalk Julie Riley until she sets a date for us to hang out. Yeah...I know you're reading this. I'm going to, for real. I ain't playin' with you.

...i tried flirting yesterday. I'm lame at it.

...it's that time of year in which i'm allergic to EVERYTHING; including myself.

...i've been pondering my bucket list and realized I'm so OCD about certain things. Lists being one of them. So my bucket list will be arranged in categories. (ie. cost money, no cost, spiritual, health, etc. etc.)

... i'm extremely tired right now.

...i need a new job.

...i've been blessed beyond measure by friends who have walked me through a difficult past month.

...i'm reading "True Compass" by Edward "Ted" Kennedy right now.

...i'm doing my best to keep up with this blog challenge.

...if it were up to me there would be 3 day weekends, always.

...i have nothing left to say because i can barely keep my eyes open.

Goodnight!!

today

today was a day.
not a fun day.
not a miserable day.
but a busy, busy day.

today I was yelled at by parents.
happy parents.
mad parents.
parents.
they are all starting to look the same.

today I pondered the mysteries of the world.
Who am I?
Where am I going in life?
What's for lunch?
Couldn't come up with answers.

today.
Oh today.
today. today.
today was quite a day.





if you type out the word "today" enough, it really starts to look strange and altogether wrong. Pblhhh....

Matteo and Tiramisu

My first Colorado bestie turned 30 recently. Of course there was a little shindig for him because he should be celebrated. I was asked to make a cake or cupcakes for the dessert portion of his party. I obviously said yes, because, Uh hello....it's for Matteo!! I wanted to make him something special and came up with quite a few ideas. Then it came to me...Matteo's Italian and he loves his Italian roots. So it had to be none other than tiramisu cupcakes. I thought that would be a great way to honor him for his special day.

Now I like baking. I like cupcakes. I like tiramisu. However, I have never made tiramisu in full cake form; yet, I decide to embark on 3 dozen mini ones. Yeppers. Why do I do this to myself? I know not. I look up recipes and try to find one that will be delectable and not overly hard to make. I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I was hoping to find something I could make on my first try. Let me tell you that Tiramisu is a daunting and a time stealing baking endeavor. But in short, and via photo, it went a little something like this....

First you have about a million ingredients. Yes, I'm prone to the dramatic. Below is just a few of those ingredients.



Then you start the cake portion....



Again...mixing with the hand mixer. That Kitchenaid is so elusive in my life. So sad!!



Plus you need to have a handy dandy assistant. Love you Jenn! Look at her separate those yolks and whites.



Once all the mixing is done you get this yummyness. I could have eaten the batter on its own. Yeah, I said it. Deal.



Then you put your batter in the pans and bake.



While the cupcakes are baking, you begin the decadence. The icing. Which the primary ingredients are marcapone cheese and heavy whipping cream.



On to the mixing of the icing....again, using that hand mixer. When all is said and done, you come up with this sweet, delectable, oh my gosh I'm going to eat this whole bowl icing. Just look at that photo. I was proud of myself. And mind you, I used a hand mixer. It was a hard task, but I managed. It was so yummy you would have to pause and ponder the goodness of it all.



Once the cupcakes have cooled and while your amazing, i'm going to eat the whole bowl and not feel guilty, icing is chilling you layer on the kahlua, rum and espresso mix onto the tops of cupcakes.



After that you pipe on the to die for icing and then garnish to your liking. I chose chocolate shavings and a chocolate covered espresso bean to top it all off.

Ta da....!!




These cupcakes, I can confidently stay, were fan-flippin-tastic. Everyone loved them and I felt accomplished and proud of myself--and Jenn, my patient helper. But apparently, I'm much more relaxed than I used to be. At least Jenn noted that from my easy response from when we had a few mishaps. I believe with the first problem, instead of freaking out, I said..."Uh, Houston, we have a problem!" And when Jenn appeared, she saw that the ease of how I stated my sentence was not in accordance with the disaster brewing in the oven. Note to you and to self: when you are getting a recipe from a random stranger, sometimes they leave out very important facts about how much tiramisu can rise. Yeah!! (insert the roll of my eyes right here!) But I handled it with gusto and calm, then we began again with baking..this time modifying to what we knew would happen. Overall it was a great experience. Most importantly, Matteo loved them.

That's all that matters, right?! Right.

Is it always cold in Estes? Or is it just me?

Recently, I was in Estes Park for Memorial Day weekend. I went camping, er rather I mean, campering*, with my Y Besties at Hermit Park. Yep, that was indeed the name, Hermit Park. No, there weren't any hermits hanging around; at least not that I saw. However, now that I think about it, there were some rather strange noises in the middle of the night. Hmmmm? But I digress, Hermit Park....the views were spectacular, the company was almost perfect...long story, no need to go into it....and the evening was full of bonfire and yummyness. But the sleep. Oh the sleep. It was freakin' freezing. Not kidding, fuh-a-reezing. And I mean, F.R.E.E.Z.I.N.G. Did I mention it was freezing? Even poor Tobey, the adopted Greyhound of Ellyn and Rhonda's, had chattering teeth that kept us up in the middle of the night. So sad. Freezing aside, I had a blast and was able to forget about the world around me and just relax, play games, take naps and enjoy the great outdoors. That rarely happens my friends. 93.5% of the time I feel like the world is riding heavy on my shoulders and I have no way to escape it; but campering this past weekend was a blast and I was able to do just that....escape. Well, for the most part anyway. Certain company only likes to talk about the Y; but we were able to muddle through it all. It was just what I needed.

We went in to Estes Park to stroll the art fair since we were so close to the beautimous mountain town of Estes to find reprieve from the strong winds that kept me sneezing all freakin' weekend. Yay for allergies. As I was strolling Estes, I took a walk down memory lane and was remembering the first time I visited there many many years ago with my friend Karey. It was cold and in the middle of February. But I loved it....cold and all. Often when I would visit we would grab our cameras and go explore. I loved it. I would do whatever I could to get the most perfect photo. As Ellyn, Rhonda, Tasia, Angie and I were strolling, I came across the infamous river where Karey and I have one of my favorite photography stories.

Picture it....winter in Estes Park, 1997ish.

Karey and I were on a photography adventure. We were by the above river that ran under this large bridge coming into Estes. I decided that for the perfect photo I needed to walk across rocks on the ice in the river under the bridge. Yes. Call me brilliant. Call me crazy. Call me adventurous. But, that's what I needed to do for that perfect photo. And trust me, I was after that perfect photo. During this photo excursion I was using one of Karey's nice 35mm film cameras. Very expensive for 1997. It's sorta like the digital big daddy of today, the D90. And as I was scaling the ice and turing my body into a pretzel on the rocks on the ice in the river under the bridge I got the perfect shot. After the shot, I turned around to get off the rocks on the ice in the river under the bridge and then....my graceful self, slipped. I slipped off the rock, onto the ice, in the river, under the bridge. As I slipped off the rock on to the ice I had a mini moment of relief because I did not breakthrough the ice into the freakin' freezing water. Again, I only had a brief moment of relief and then heard the infamous...crackle, crackle, crack!! And I went through ice. My only thought was, "oh shit, I have Karey's camera!" As I was going into this freakin' freezing water I kept my hands in the air with the camera above my head. Thankfully it was only deep enough to mid thigh. You can't even the sense of relief I had that the camera didn't get dunked in water. And then I realized I was freakin' freezing, I had no extra clothes and we had many hours ahead of us. As I was wading out of the cold water with the camera above my head, Karey came running to check on me. As she was peeking under the bridge and she noticed I was in the hypothermia water, her first words to me were...."Is my camera alright?" Really? Really? Thats your concern? I mean I get it. She's a photographer and loves her camera. But I was in the freakin' freezing water in the middle of winter in Estes Park. I had chattering teeth and no clothes to change into once I got out of the water. And we still had hours of exploring ahead of us before we would head down the mountain and head home to Thornton. Now I realize that at the time her camera was my concern too; which is why I made sure that I kept it out of the water at any cost. But, I was hoping that there would be a little concern that I slipped off the rocks onto the ice which crackled open and landed me in the freakin' freezing water under the bridge. Did I mention that the water was hypothermia cold? Yes, it was. I froze for the rest of the day. Actually for the rest of the winter season. I don't think I warmed up until I was in the middle of the hot Oklahoma summer. Once my feet get cold, that's it for me. I'm done for. I'm finished. I'm cold until I can find a way to warm back up. It was such a funny moment. When I think back on it, I always giggle at what that must have looked like...the shock of it all and Karey's concern for her camera. Yeah, I'll never let her live it down. It's locked in my memory bank forever.

All this to say, anytime I'm in or near Estes no matter the season, I'm cold in some form which always makes me think of my plunge into the freezin' cold water. Actually, now that I think of it when Shauna and I took a walk in RMNP she thought it would be great to walk around the lake. It was warm nearing summer, but still snowy up in RMNP. As we were walking we lost the trail and I knew that I knew we were on the lake, but Shauna wanted to push on forward, saying something like..."It's fine!" I hesitantly went ahead with her until my foot went through the snow and into the lake. Again, cold. Not hypothermia cold, but cold. What is it with me and Estes and the cold? Whether it be taking photos, enjoying a stroll or campering. It's always cold at some point. I'll just resign myself to bring a parka anytime I head to Estes.

Yep. That's all.

*Campering: when one goes camping, but does not use a tent and sleep on the ground; but rather partakes of the joys of a camper. I don't think I have it in me to be a tent sleeper anymore. I did it as a kid when I would dance in powwow's. I'm over it now. So...I go campering, not camping. ;)

Blog Challenge

I've decided, and I know i've said it before, but I'm going to try really hard to blog everyday. It's my own personal challenge. I'm sure it will be nonsensical and absolutely random and more than likely full of nothingness...but I'm trying to train myself to write again. I've quit journaling, blogging and anything else that has to do with the written word. So my goal it so write something everyday.

Obviously, this post is the post of nothingness. But I'm challenging myself by putting it on here on the blogosphere. Is that a word? And I totally expect my loyal reader(s)...ahem that's you Liz--my faithful follower...to hold me accountable.

Speaking of the lovely Liz. She has inspired me to think of my bucket list. Hopefully, you'll be seeing that here soon.

So...yeah. That's my post for today.

Ugh!!! It. has. been. a. day.

note to self: please refer to June 2nd blog

Rewind: 35th Birthday

2 months ago I had another birthday--the 35th--and had many mixed emotions about this particular one. Happy, sad, strangely adult and still overwhelmingly young and behind on "my plan" for my life.

I know, I know. I'm such a mess.

All that aside, what I want to focus on here is that fact that I was able to celebrate plentifully; first with my Utah Lovelies and then with my Colorado Lovelies. I feel adored and blessed by all of the amazing people the Lord has placed in my life. Seriously ADORED!!!

My Utah lovelies always make me feel so special, loved and like I belong. My life has been extremely blessed since I've started taking my trips to the Great State of Utah. And, lets be honest, I just can't get enough of the Seevinck lovin' that I receive. I feel so at home and safe when I'm in their presence. Plus, I laugh so much and always come back with new insight into life. They just have a way of doing that to me; most times without even saying anything. It just happens.

Love, love, love you all!!

My Colorado Lovelies are fan-flippin'-tastic!! I went to the Rio on my birthday; then had a slumber party with the Y Besties; and just when I thought it couldn't get any better I was able to have a wii bowling party with the lovely ladies that hold me up, inspire me and remind me of God's love everyday. I would be lost without these ladies.

One of the things that blessed me the most from my birthday was some of my friends wrote "35 Things We Love About Raelynn" in honor of my 35th birthday. I ran across it again tonight when I was straightening up my room. So I thought I would share it here because I love it so much.

********************

"35 Things We Love About Raelynn"

From Jenn

1. Her generosity and giving spirit

2. Her creativity

3. Her love of shoes!

From Gayle

4. How she can make me laugh effortlessly

5. How she faces life straight on...whatever comes her way

6. She pursues her passions

7. She has worked with that personal trainer! I would have quit a long time ago.

From Natalie

8. I love that Raelynn's heart is steadfast with hope and that she keeps trusting even when she doesn't understand how things will work out

9. I love Rae's shiny black hair and deep brown eyes--she's such a beauty!

10. I love that Raelynn can dive the depths of conversation and have your rolling with laughter

From Carol

11. I love that Raelynn honors and values family in truly Biblical ways...living life in community, loving, serving and always showing deep devotion

12. I love that Raelynn is a friend to ALL!

13. I love that Raelynn brings me overflowing joy and laughter in my life

14. I love that Raelynn loves some Strawberry FANTA baby!!!

From Liz

15. I love how she loves kids. She has an amazing way of connecting to them and making them feel special and important

16. I love her passion for her heritage

17. I love that she uses her voice to teach and bless on the worship team and with the kids

18. Her sharing at the CME about dreams

19. Her blogs

From Jacki & Jill

20. Her honesty

21. She is an encourager

22. She is always humble

23. Her gift of wisdom

24. She has such integrity and compromises for no one

25. She is full of grace and the first one to forgive

26. She has endless compassion, even for those who have hurt her

27. She is completely reliable

28. She is a warrior and intercessor for her family no matter what

29. She honors her spiritual leaders

30. She likes cheese tortillas

31. She is sacrificial

32. She loves Jesus, but is willing to admit that sometimes she is pissed at Him too

33. She is willing to share the knowledge the Lord has given her even if she is out of her element

From Shauna

34. I love her passionate fire for the Lord and people

35. I love the overflowing joy and laughter that she brings in every situation

From Halen

Bonus 1. Raelynn is inspiring in her tenderness to the Lord

Bonus 2. I LOVE that her love language includes chocolate bars

Bonus 3. I love that her love for others is accompanied by action

********************

Hello!!!

Can it get any better than that?? I don't think so. I keep this list in my journal and when I start feeling lost or in doubt about who I am...I read this list again. It always helps me find my way back and erases the doubt that is plaguing my mind.

This list is truly one of the best gestures of love I have ever received.

Where's Raelynn-do?

Man, I have not been on my sweet little bloggy blog bloggerson page for a few weeks now. As I ponder why I've been absent from you few that are loyal to me, I have come to the realization it is because I have been in the trenches. In the depths. Wading through the daily yellings. Surviving the formidable. Trying to stay a conqueror when the crazies have been coming at me like vicious spider monkey's on steroids. Basically, I've been in summer camp registration HELL, er, I mean FUN!!!

There's so much for me to share with you in my life. But it still must wait.

Hang tight, friends, I'll be back soon. Before you know it!!!!


HOPEFULLY ANYWAY!!

Warrior?!

I have a little over 3 months to find my inner warrior. I know it's in there somewhere. I just need to dig deep and pull it out.

::Insert tiny RAWR here:: Are you intimidated yet?

A few friends and I will be participating in the Warrior Dash. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. Basically, it's 3.27 hellish miles (their wording) up and down a mountain full of running (yuck!) and obstacle courses (yay!).

You can check out the Rockies Course, here!!


Let the warrior training begin.*



*Actually it starts this Saturday when Jill, Jacki, Carol and I will be meeting to run every Saturday morning at 7am. Boo!!

Crabapple

The color of this tree outside the Y makes me smile...








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Love Fern

I was getting a glass of water this evening and this is what I found....





I love my roommate. She makes me laugh.

And, tonight, I really needed to laugh.

**I also love the movie where she got the love fern quote!

It's a wet rainy Friday. And it's not helping my overall peppiness. When I look out my window it's all grey.

Not helping, not helping.

I need you sun!! Where are you?





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God is love!

God IS love!

God is LOVE!

The WBC is in Boulder and Denver picketing the next few days. In my opinion, they are not a happy loving group that exhibits the attributes and love of Christ; but rather scream, judge and preach falsely in the Name of Jesus. This makes my heart sad. Actually, it makes me all hivey, agitated, pissed .... the list could go on. But overall, my heart is sad. I know that I know this is not how Jesus would want us to act in His Name. He would choose love. He always chooses love--even in discipline and rebuke. He is nothing but love.

But regardless of the slander they choose to put out there today, I know that,

God is good. God is love.

You can read a little about the pickets going on here!

just when i feel like throwing in the towel...

those beautiful ladies in my world, that despite all my craziness,

LOVE ME

...come in and swoop me off my feet with words of love and encouragement.

i am blessed with the most amazing friends!!!

ps more details to come later. but for now, i m.u.s.t. sleep!!!

Oh my!! My newest obsession

So, there I was, minding my own business, thinking about random things--aka, pretending to work--when I decided to start a wee google chat with Jenn that went like this....

me: i'm going to tell you something....don't judge me....
Jennifer: haha. never!! what is it??
me: i kinda want to see the miley cyrus movie
Jennifer: lol! I don't judge. i'm sure it's a good movie, being based on Nicholas Sparks. those are all good. i just don't think i could get past miley cyrus' acting. and her voice. lol
me: ha ha....i know....but the suspense is sorta killing me
Jennifer: suspense?
me: of just knowing what that movie is about
Jennifer: lol. you could just read the book! ;)
me: with a name like "last song"
Jennifer: true
me: and nicholas sparks?! who knows?
Jennifer: it sounds good

and THEN it happened. the conversation turned to this.....

Jennifer: have I told you about The Pioneer Woman and my slight obsession with her and her website?
me: No! What???
Jennifer: it's thepioneerwoman.com and I'm in love with her. she's in Oklahoma, and she has this cooking/everything under the sun website that now gets like 20 million hits a month. she's a "city girl turned cattle rancher's wife"
me: ha....i must read this

So, I took a little stroll over to The Pioneer Woman's page and immediately knew I was going to love it. Blogging. Photography. Cooking. Home and Garden. And more. Her writing is fantastic and completely pulls you. I won't lie. After reading her story of her romance with the Marlboro Man, aptly titled "Black Heels to Tractor Wheels", I decided I MUST marry a cowboy and live on a ranch. Yep, I said it. This is what the Pioneer Woman has done to me. Lord, help me!!!

I love that she lives in the Great State of Oklahoma. Oh, how I utterly adore that she is a fellow Oklahoman. It sorta makes me want to move back to my home State. I just know she and I would be Besties!! We would take photos, make crass jokes, wrangle kids and sit on the front porch drinking sweet tea and laughing about the randomness of life, (Insert those beautiful Oklahoma sunsets here.), all while our cowboy husbands farmed the land.

I have a friend crush. It's true.

Thank you, Jenn for introducing me to my newest obsession. I long to be a Pioneer Woman now. I'm thinking about trading in my Steve Madden's for a life on the ranch. But, I guess I deserve it; after all, I did introduce you to him....

Poor Steve. He didn't see this one coming!!

"the earth, it sings about You!"






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HBD!!

Today is my birthday!!

Whoop whoop. :)

And the countdown begins...

I'll be 35 tomorrow.

Woah!!!

I have mixed feelings about this birthday.

Excited. Disappointed. Hopeful. Anxious.

But despite all these emotions, today I have the assurance of knowing that He is good. And I am loved by Him. He is more important than any unfulfilled dream or desires. For I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

And that is more than enough for me.


P.S. Rio I'll be seeing you tomorrow.



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And a Good Friday it is...

Slept in.
Had a morning Seevink latte-o-love.




Yummy breakfast.
Morning laughs.
Perused, roamed, adventured around IKEA.
Now I'm resting in my favorite room with my favorite view.

So far....Lovin' it!!!!


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